LOTR KICKS ASS
- ryetheguy22
- Feb 18, 2024
- 3 min read
Paladin peregrine sings to the lord denethor of gondor while he feasts on grapes. Meanwhile his replacement is somewhere in the gates of the underworld swearing an oath to a fallen king of the dead , a ghostly spectre who will aid in the war of middle earth defeating almost all of the remaining orcs, elaphanta, trolls, and uruk captains reliving gondor of its miserable fate. Meanwhile, denthors fate is to get set on fire by Gandalf while trying to burn alive his already wounded son and then yeeet himself of the tallest spire which is so far away. So don't worry about being single or a king of some realm on this lent or valentines day, whichever world your actually living in, because at least your not denethor. This is why it's so important to follow the laws of the dunning kruegur effect and not eat the first marshmellow. If denethor was preparing blueprints for the defense of his city instead of feating on grapes in front of a young shireling, he could've avoided his own demise. As we can see this is why it's also so important to swear oaths to fallen spectral kings of the dead with a sword that was remade by elves of a noble air and fulfill your destiny.
I love fat people because in past times that was supposed to be a sign of being rich, but laughing at starving people just means your an asshole regardless of your dietary capability. So is denethor for feasting on grapes in front of the hobbit. The song was still fire Fit for a kings hall in times of war and darkness. The only thing missing was theodin with where is the horse and the rider cause holy batman he just shows up like Gandalf on the third day at dawn in the east and man do those 🐴 boys slay. It reminds me that I hate fat people because of cave trolls. The entire journey could have been destroyed if frodo didn't have that methril vest he got from his uncle bilbo at Rivendell because then the troll would killed frodo and then the entire mission could've been ruined. In that case the ring could've easily been passed on to Sam or one of the other Hobbits and knowing the relationship between Gandalf and pipin after waking up every orc in the mine, the line of succession then makes it sam, merry skip piping then aragorn. And if aragorn had the ring that would've struck more fear into the heart of sauron just like when he revealed that he had the sword that was remade. Revealing the sword in the palintier was a very wise move although saroun had leverage on him with the wood nymph although that was very personal for aragorn it was also very personal for sauron. Seeing as his dear old dad lopped off one off sarouns 🖕 fingys sending him combustion shadow realm of wraith lore and forgone knowledge of the abysmal din of dark decievers and lost kings. Now the power of the one belonging mostly to the capriciousness of sarouns malice and evil, found a dark hiding spot picked up after the age by the most unlikely of ones and that was a hobbit.
As easy as it seems to send a witch king or other black rider to snuff out bilbo as fast as one could ride an eagle to mordor, the story remains in its best analog having frodo set out after his uncle leaves for Rivendell.
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